


The Key to Never Aging

by mggislife2789



Category: Criminal Minds
Genre: Gen, Reader-Insert
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-01
Updated: 2017-12-01
Packaged: 2019-02-08 23:45:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,032
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12875616
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mggislife2789/pseuds/mggislife2789
Summary: Disclaimer: I don't own any of these characters or their original stories. This is only for fun. It's where my brain goes after the credits roll. No copyright intended. Better safe than sorry. ;)





	The Key to Never Aging

“She can’t be more than 18,” Rossi said, tossing a piece of candy into his mouth as Agent Y/N Y/L/N emerged from the elevator and made her way to Emily’s office. With the success of recent cases, Emily had been greenlit to hire one more profiler, so that when Spencer was out lecturing or Tara was out conducting psychological evaluations, they wouldn’t be down two people - just one, but that one had the intelligence of two apparently. “She’s got an IQ of 196 according to Emily. Even brainier than you kid.”

Spencer’s mouth dropped open. Before the past year or so, he might’ve been jealous or felt insecure at her intelligence, fearing that he might be replaceable, but his team had done so much for him - he knew no matter what that he had a place here. “The can pluck people from the Academy that young? I mean, I know I was 22, but damn.”

“And you looked 12,” Garcia said as she approached their desks. “Woah, seriously, she looks like she’s straight out of high school.”

As the new agent walked across the bullpen, they noticed her petite frame. She looked to be under five feet tall, and if she was five feet tall it was just barely. Additionally, she had a very young face, no wrinkles or laugh lines to speak of, which just spoke to her innocence. Even young people who’d worked this job for a couple of years projected the everyday horror on their faces.

Tara emerged from behind her computer screen to see Y/N just as she entered Emily’s office. “If she’s over the age of 25, I will buy everyone a round of drinks the next time we go out.”

“Now I’m hoping she’s over 25,” Luke replied. Free drinks? Always a good thing.

Spencer wanted her to be within 10 years or so of his age because he thought she was pretty and he wanted to ask her out, but with all that he’d been through and his tenuous reinstatement with the Bureau, he wasn’t sure if that was such a good idea anyway. Either way, she looked way too young to be working here.

Although the blinds were closed, apparently Y/N and Emily’s conversation had gone well, because she was in and out of the office within five minutes and both had smiles on their faces. Unfortunately, their excitement over their new teammate was brought to an abrupt end when a case was brought. It was time sensitive. There was no time for introductions now; they’d have to wait.

“Y/N, I hope you’re ready.”

“I am.”

Case after case came into the Bureau, so all the team got to know about their new teammate was her name, where she graduated from, and a little bit about her family (which became relevant during a case).

Thankfully, it seemed like the psychopaths and serial killers decided to take a day off, because it had been filled with paperwork. 

“How about we go out tonight?” Tara asked aloud. “Celebrate the arrival of the new teammate!”

“Sounds good to me,” JJ replied, looking around the bullpen. Emily was here, Luke and Matt and Rossi were here, but Spencer, Garcia, and Y/N, whose arrival they were celebrating were nowhere to be found.

Meanwhile, around the corner, Y/N and Garcia emerged from the ladies’ room at the same time Spencer emerged from the men’s room. “The best 80s group was Poison,” Garcia said, resuming the argument she’d been having with Spencer all day long. Both the resident genius and the technical analyst had quite an eclectic taste in music, though Spencer also fancied the classical. They enjoyed their 80s hair metal bands too, hence the argument. 

“Wrong, that honor belongs to Whitesnake.”

“Poison.”

“Whitesnake.”

“Poison.”

“White. Snake.”

Y/N giggled as she walked in between them back toward the bullpen. “I’m going to have to agree with Spencer on this one. While Poison is quite possibly the most recognizable, Whitesnake, in my humble opinion, is far superior.”

“What do you even know?” Garcia exclaimed. “What are you like 12? 16 maybe? You barely graduated high school.”

“What makes you think that?” Y/N laughed. People did tell her she looked young, but she figured they would’ve known how old she was. “Do you not know how old I am?”

Garcia blushed momentarily. “Honestly, I was going to look it up but between all the cases, I’ve been getting distracted.”

“And you think I got plucked out of high school?” She asked. “I’m so flattered. But no, I’m not 18.”

“Really?” Spencer asked. “How old are you?”

“Take a guess.”

“21,” Garcia said immediately. “You still sound young.”

“Nope.”

“23, then,” Spencer replied. There was no way she could be older than that. It was that or she held the secret to never aging. 

But again, she shook her head. “Guess again.”

As the three agents made their way into the middle of the bullpen, Garcia gave her final guess, or rather, she insisted. “There is no way you over 25. That’s my final answer.”

“Wrong again!” Y/N laughed. 

Tara popped her head up at the mention of Y/N’s age. She had bet the team free drinks after all. “How old are you?”

Catching Emily’s eye, Y/N gave her a knowing glance. She was the only one who knew apparently, considering she’d hired her. “I’m 28.”

“No freaking way,” Luke said.

Matt shook his head. “You barely look 20!”

“If you’re 28 then I’m the Queen of England,” JJ added.

“But you aren’t the Queen of England, JJ,” Y/N said with a chuckle. “And I am 28.”

Garcia’s mouth was agape as she sat down into a chair that honestly she wasn’t sure was even there; she just needed to sit. For a few moments, she said nothing, leaving the rest of the team to ease back into regular conversation. Just when everyone had gotten over it, Garcia exclaimed again. “HOW?!”

Without missing a beat, Y/N turned to her. “A glass of wine every night. You wanna start tonight?”

“Absolutely,” she said, holding up her invisible glass. “Salut!”


End file.
